Nine guides to raising a female teen

Posted on Sat, Apr 21 2018

Parents corner Category


You will agree with me that each passing day, parents are faced with challenges that come with training female teens, especially in a fast speed generation. Times have changed and things are moving so fast. This means that a lot of work awaits mothers (and fathers too) and there is a high need to be empowered enough to conquer the challenges that come with raising a female child in this generation.

I attended a Mother-Daughter conference organized by GROW THE CHILD foundation late last year where mothers were equipped with knowledge on how to raise their adolescent daughters in school and at home. One of the speakers really did justice to the subject of raising a daughter in this age. 

So,  I compiled these great tips which I believe will help in your relationship with your daughter.

See your child as an empty plate

When you see each child as an empty slate, you will start early to write what you want on the child. It is at the beginning of the child’s life you instill values that you desire for your child. Start early to inculcate values you want and watch them stay in your teen.

The bulk of the training lies with you

Parents have to come to the realization that the bulk of training their children lies with them and not teachers. The onus lies on you the parent to model the kind of character you want in your child. Teachers can only build on the foundation you have laid. Cases abound where parents transfer their responsibilities to teachers forgetting they are the first point of call when it comes to the training of a child. Good character development is best served at home.

Use and build up signals to communicate

When we were younger, there is a kind of look your mother will give you and you will immediately interpret its meaning. You could do same for your child by creating signals that will only be understood by both you and your teen.

Be an intentional parent

Intentionality is a trait you need to imbibe in your relationship with your teens. Don’t be a parent that allows anything to go through your watch. At this juncture, you already know the kind of children you want to raise at the end of the day. All your activities, therefore, should be on raising that kind of child. Don’t allow what you don’t want.

Be ready to make sacrifices

Parenting will put demands on you. These demands will require sacrifices from you. For those of you who are parents, you find out you don’t do what you want to do but what you ought to do. If you don’t want your daughter wearing skimpy dresses, then you shouldn’t be caught wearing skimpy dresses. Sacrificial living requires you do away with some attitudes that will negate the kind of life you want to model into your daughter.

Call and ask questions

If you are waiting for a time when your child will come tell you what is happening to her, you may never get that opportunity. You will have to deliberately inquire about things happening to them. You will need to deliberately communicate your goals to her. This means you don’t really have to wait for ugly situations to happen before you communicate.

Show the end pictures of the actions they take

Don’t just condemn actions; show the consequences of such actions in clear and concise manner. If her behaviour will truncate one aspect of her life, show the end picture of that behaviour.

Be ready for flimsy talks

Oh yes. There will be lots of those talks and you might be tempted to shut them up. Allow her to say all talks you consider flimsy. Those flimsy talks will let you into the tiny details you might be missing out of her life.  Don’t shout her down. Have straight talks and be her gist partner and someone she can confide in. Part of getting ready for such talks requires you prepare for questions that may throw you overboard.

Don’t be ashamed to say you don’t know a thing

As adults, we always want to be seen as knowledgeable in all matters. As much as there is nothing wrong with that, you have to accept that you won’t know everything. When you don’t know a thing, own up and promise to find out and get back to her.


If you have any other guide you’ve found helpful, do share with me in the comment section.



Faith Ijeoma Ezenwere

Hi there, My name is Faith Ijeoma Ezenwere. I am a Broadcast Journalist/OAP and a teen coach. I am passionate about building a community of impact driven Teens and young adults in all spheres of life. In simple terms, I help Teens/Young adults live their dreams. Welcome to my World!

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