My title reads 7 things I look out for in a friend; but I ask myself if these traits can be found in me before I expect same from another. So what do I do? I work on myself to ensure that these qualities can be found in me.
We all know we need friends in our lives at one point or another.
Show me your friend, and I will tell you who you are.
The caliber of friends you have will tell the kind of person you are and the kind of values you hold dear.
Some friendship barely makes it through even before it starts due to the absence of these things and the unwillingness of the parties to sacrifice some things to make the friendship work.
I value friendship a lot and because of this, I am very intentional about the kind of friends I keep. You should be intentional about the kind of friends you keep too. It will save you from so many stress of friendship gone sour.
So here is my checklist of things I consider before I can release my hand of friendship to you.
As a friend, I want to know that I can trust you with my space. I am a conservative person to some extent and I am totally cool with that. I don’t easily throw open the door to my space without due consideration of the trustworthiness of that individual. If I see you as a friend, I want to be able to know that I can depend on you. I need to know you can come through for me, stand up for me when I can’t stand up for myself. Being trustworthy requires that you don’t let me down when I need you. It’s a whole lot but what are friends for, if not to be there for each other.*winks
This is non-negotiable. If there is something I cannot trade for anything, it is loyalty. We all, oh let me rephrase that; I need a friend who is faithful, reliable and devoted to me. I don’t need a friend who will go about gossiping about me to everyone. I don’t need a friend who will spill my secrets to people and I am pretty sure you don’t want that too. I wouldn’t want a friend who joins others to make a mockery about my weaknesses or failures. Once I see these red flags, that friendship is about to go on a long walk to the lagoon.
Honesty demands that we speak openly from our heart without mincing words or trying to sugar coat it. Someone I call my friend should be able to look me in the face and tell me the truth even if it hurts. Same thing I should be able to do for my friend. I am someone who wants to improve in every area of my life and will therefore appreciate every bit of honesty I can get from my friends. A man/woman who cannot account for one person that will openly say things to him without fear or favour can be termed to be an unlucky man/woman.
Good listening skills
This is very important to building a strong friendship especially among teens and young ones. I love my friends to pay attention to me whenever we are in a conversation. I can’t really express how I feel whenever my friend focuses on her cell when I talk to her. A good listening skill is something that must be developed among friends. I get it that you want to be the one to talk and talk and talk. Sometimes, it is good to be calm and listen instead of talking. Listening deepens the relationship between you and your friend(s). When you listen, you are able to know your friend’s intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences. This you cannot know by paying half attention or being distracted.
This is highly non-negotiable. I value and cherish a friend or friends who go all out to support my dreams and passions. More so, what endears me more is your standing by me during good and difficult times. I have such a friend on my friend list.She is my greatest cheer leader. she is one i am ever grateful for.
I love being in the midst of confident people; People who know their self worth. There is something about having friends that are confident about themselves. Their confidence rubs off on you and you become confident too. You see yourself trying things you never imagined you could have tried. You see yourself taking up challenges you always shy away from as a result of low self esteem. So, a confident friend is a Yes Yes for me.
Fun to be with
I can be boring some of the times and I do not fancy anything about those times. Having a boring friend at that time can be killing as i would want someone to cheer me up. So that quality up there is certainly a big one for me. I love to hang out, try creative things, and take on some daunting challenge. I wouldn’t want someone who walks around with dark cloud hanging over their head. I certainly wouldn’t. Sometimes, life tosses challenges our way; we need that one person who will help keep us from taking life too seriously at those times.
Okay, I said 7, but they are actually more than 7. I’ll stop here to hear from you.
Do you have qualities you look out for in a friend? Share with me in the comment section.
Photo Credit : Marquess photography
Hi there, My name is Faith Ijeoma Ezenwere. I am a Broadcast Journalist/OAP and a teen coach. I am passionate about building a community of impact driven Teens and young adults in all spheres of life. In simple terms, I help Teens/Young adults live their dreams. Welcome to my World!
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