Amidst tears, Sissy gave her a full recount from the night when it all started.
“Ha! Ehn, but wait o; na that one come dey make you cry? Cheer up, baby girl. Let me tell you, he did that on purpose. He had to mask the fact that he may actually be thinking of such. Don’t get yourself worked up over that. And all those things he said, trash them. They don’t define you one bit.
Since he has suddenly just realised that he needs to get busy, get busier. Focus on your life, dreams and goals, and smash them. His presence or absence in your life does not diminish or add to you. You don’t need his validation to upgrade your worth. Look at me, Sissy.”
Sissy looked up. There was fire in her eyes.
You do not need any man – or woman – to tell you who you are. Your destination in life is not hinged on what anyone did or did not do. Rather, what you will become is going to be a function of the decision that you make.
Do you want to sit there moping on what he said and the ones you thought you heard him say? Candid advice: don’t! Rise from the hurt you feel now and move on. Go for your dreams, not to prove to him that you can, but because that is what you were made to do.
Every time you hear his words in your mind, counter them with words that define who you are. Every time you are tempted to be discouraged by what he said to you, that is the time to pursue harder after your dreams.”
When Tommie finished talking, she was breathing hard. Sissy may never know that the reason for her fury was that she had been through emotional abuse worse than hers and it had taken her time to get back to her right senses. She did not want Sissy to go through such torture.
Sissy wiped her eyes clear and rose to her feet to hug her roommate.
“Thank you, Tommie. I appreciate this.”
“It’s nothing. Any time you feel down on this, feel free to talk with me. It helps to relieve the burden too.”
“I will do just that.” She smiled.
“Mind you, mark my words; he will come back begging you. It may be sooner or later.”
Indeed, Tommie is a soothsayer, if you would dare call her that. Nearly a year later, Pally came back apologising for all he said to Sissy. He also said that he did not mean any of the things he had said to her. He asked that she forgives him and they go back to how they used to be, for he had missed her company greatly.
Did I forget to add? He told Sissy that they could actually work on their relationship and get married in the process. Sissy nearly puked. She turned down his offer – in her mind, but also thought to give him another chance on friendship although she doubted it would work.
He did not disappoint her. He became abusive again and she decided this time that she knew who she was – an object of dignity, not an oratorical trash bin. It was her turn to severe the relationship. Then, she remembered the words of her pastor:
“When people hurt you, forgive them, but don’t give them a second chance to hurt you. It does not mean that they are bad people or that you have not forgiven them. Rather, it means that you cannot trust them with that space in your life again. And until they prove otherwise – after you must have tested them, don’t bring them back in.”
Sissy focused on her catering dreams and became the best as she had purposed. She later got married to a renowned pastor and they had three beautiful kids together – two boys and a girl.
Pally did well for himself too but their interactions were kept at arm’s length.
Have you been through any form of abuse – sexual, emotional, psychological, or physical? You too can heal.
Any time you relapse into depression, remember what Tommie said:
“You do not need any man – or woman – to tell you who you are. Your destination in life is not hinged on what anyone did or did not do. Rather, what you will become is going to be a function of the decision that you make.”
STORY WRITTEN BY: CHRISTIANAH AJIKI
The content in this story may not be reproduced, transferred, or copied anywhere without due permission from the author.
Hi there, My name is Faith Ijeoma Ezenwere. I am a Broadcast Journalist/OAP and a teen coach. I am passionate about building a community of impact driven Teens and young adults in all spheres of life. In simple terms, I help Teens/Young adults live their dreams. Welcome to my World!
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